The man in the loincloth gets it right. Go Tarzan.

It's starting to feel like home here.  

Every day, I think about my real home a little bit less. I think about my family a little bit less. And I get a little bit more excited about crawling into "my bed" every night even if it is just a sleeping bag on an old mattress that sometimes has worms in it. 

Of course I still think about my families back home often and miss them. Like this evening, the JAM team went out for put put golf which is something mom, Kristyn and I do occasionally as a family activity. With every put that bounced off a wall and into the water, I thought more and more of my sister, who is not always the best put put golfer (as am I) but would get so comically frustrated when the ball wouldn't go in the silly hole. Come to think of it, this might have been my first mini golf experience without my mom, sister or dad there. That's weird. I need to get out more. 

 Also, as I start ACTUALLY working, I'm having to use my inDesign and Photoshop programs which just is a constant reminder of my yerd family in 151 and all those frustratingly wonderful hours we would spend on those same programs. Sometimes, I'll even look to my right as if Maddie Anderson will still be sitting at the computer next to me. I wonder how they are doing...

 And just the other day, Ashley came to the base wearing this perfume (or maybe it was soap?) and all dressed up, and I thought: There's only one other person I know who could possibly look and smell nice on a mountain in South Africa — Allyson Day. Oh! And Ashley is also a dog fanatic. And every time I see her get excited about a nearby dog, I can't help but think of Libby. :)

And my roommate, Xandra,  reminds me a great deal of my best friend, Alyssa. Just getting to know her story, they seem to be so similar, although no one can replace Alyssa.

I mean, the fact that I'm on the other side of ministry now is a constant reminder of Becca, Scott and Aaron. I feel like I'm always asking myself — did Becca struggle with this? How do the westside student ministry team do that? Are these also the challenges that they have to deal with? What were some of the things they did in this situation? I find myself retelling Becca stories in my head of different things she's dealt with and overcome in ministry. They might be the most helpful thing in this process. 

So yes, there are triggers. And I still find myself longing for the beautiful faces of my beloved family members. However, like I said, I no longer obsess over the distance between us and I am starting to embrace THIS as my home now.

The smell of mince cooking in the kitchen, a late night scrambled eggs snack, the sunset over the cannon and the ocean beyond that, the crammed Avanza that has a ghetto third row of seats, the stashes of hot chocolate I brought from home and hide so no one eats them, the sound of Tessa laughing or the whack of a pool stick hitting the cue ball — that is home. Well, it's becoming that. The longer I spend here, the more it grows, and the more it feels like I belong here. Prudie and Phumla even have me saying "Sho" and "Eish, babba" already. 

I'm learning how to cook and do laundry and actually be a part of the house. And while I still don't know my teammates and roommates ALL that well yet, they are starting to feel like they belong in my life. Like when I wake up in the morning or sit down for breakfast, they need to be there otherwise it just wouldn't feel right. I guess that's a good word for where I'm at now. Right. It feels right. God really does know what He's doing.

You know, Phil Collins hits the money right on the mark in Tarzan during the title scene where he's swinging in his loincloth. The song goes:

"Put your faith in what you most believe in.

Two worlds, One Family." 

That's kind of what this is. In the kingdom, there is only one family, one body. And even though I am miles from home, I'm still home. How cool is that? I'm still trying to puzzle out how that is possible. So stay tuned. Haha. I might come up with a deep reflection on that answer, I don't know.