Psalm 46:10

Hello internet world.
Normally, a journal is the most intimate and personal piece of writing anyone can own. So, naturally, while I spend my next year and half in South Africa, I wanted to make my journal public and open to the entire world to see. This blog is all about the documentation of what God does when He calls you, what you can experience by not hanging up, and what kind of people you can connect with by listening to Him.
Exactly one year ago, I found myself caught in the middle of that exact decision. God had been ringing and I needed to decide if I was going to pick up and listen.
For me, I got my first real phone call from Him at an outdoor church near Alexandria, South Africa. I had been in SA for about two weeks by that point and He had already been ringing for the past 14 days. When I first got there, His tug turned my life upside down.
I saw the local people, their contentment and joyous spirit. But what was even more moving to me was my team. I had no idea what real Spirit fire meant before I met them. I mean these people were crazy with their love for the lord, reckless with it even. They would beat the sun up every morning to sing and pray to the God of the universe. They would spend hours every day in devotional and in the Word of God. And their worship! Oh man, you've no idea what their worship was like. I think the whole of heaven opened up to us when we worshiped together.
They would go to dangerous and uncomfortable places physically, spiritually and emotionally without a second thought.
To give you an example, three of my team members, while we were in a community called Bombisana, visited hospitals where they met a boy who had been possessed by a demon. Instead of running from that, or even denying it, they stood in the gap for him and fought the demon with prayer. By the time we left the boy was completely healed.
I didn't even know things like that really existed. I mean, I'd read about it in the bible a few times but that was just the bible. That was years ago.
It only took about 4 days since my arrival in South Africa for the Lord to begin ringing. I got a tug on my heart that maybe, I was supposed to come back once the mission trip was over. I was about to be a senior in high school with just 9 months left before I left for college. Maybe, I wasn't supposed to go to college, but come back here. But that was crazy, and I'm not crazy. So I hit the ignore button on my God phone and continued on with the month long missions trip.
About 13 days later, I received a huge wave of inspiration to write something. Side note: Writing is one of my passions so this was a normal occurrence. I wrote a narration about my team and the kind of impact they had made on me since my arrival in SA.
That evening, during our debrief time, I got the opportunity to read it aloud, something I wasn't planning on doing but happened by sheer coincidence. What I wrote was probably one of the best pieces of writing I had ever written, and it was well received by everyone on our team.
Ironically, after I had read that, our mission paster spoke on callings. He gave three criteria that proved when God was calling you to something. Naturally, I leaned in a little to listen.
The three criteria:
1. You have to have a heart for the people and place He is calling you to. Check.
2. There had to be a need for your skillset. Not checked.
3. Logistics have to line up. No way. This was still crazy to me.
The next morning, we packed up and headed out to Alexandria. Our caravan had three vehicles: two 14 seater vans, and one car that seated 7. The car was almost always occupied by who I call the "important people:" the pastors and leaders of the trip. Therefore, I always rode in the vans. But, this time for some odd reason all the vans were full and I ended up having to ride in the car with the leaders of the organization, JAM, who our church was partnering with for the missions trip.
Somehow, I got to talking with a man named Thinus about the piece I had written the night before. Thinus was really impressed and I began to explain to him that I would love to come back to SA to help JAM, but I was not very good at ministry at the time and didn't think they had a need for my skillset, which was way more mechanical than it was relational.
Thinus began to explain to me that their media and marketing director for JAM was currently doing all the work by herself and had been praying to God for help for quite some time. He said she could really use my writing ability and multimedia experience (I was the editor of my yearbook). At this point I began to rethink picking up the phone for God.
I spent the next couple of days wrestling over the decision in my head: do I pick up the phone and listen to the call God was trying to give me. Or do I continue with the college plan I had had since I was a freshman? I mean, moving to SA is a big deal. My parents would probably not support that. I don't have the money for that. And I already had a school picked out and a plan.
We went to the outdoor church Sunday morning. It was nothing outrageously special or different, but the worship went a bit long. And while we worshiped, God no longer waited for me to answer the phone, He picked it up for me.
I ended up on my knees with my arms outstretched just singing. And in that moment, I heard Him. It was an audible voice that was so loud and so clear, I was immobilized and transformed at the same time. He said only 8 words to me, but it was enough. One encounter from the Lord is all you need to change your life. He said: "Be still and know that I am God."
In that moment I accepted my calling. I was to return to SA the following year to bring the love of God and tell His ongoing story to the people here.
And after I accepted that, everything else fell into place. I picked up an application to work for JAM, and within 2 days of sending it in, they had accepted me. It usually took them weeks to go through the process. On the flight back to Washington DC I was fighting with God over how I was going to pay for it; I made calculations in my head about how many hours I would have to work and at what wage if I was even going to be able to consider it. After doing a ton of math it was still an impossible task and out frustration I yelled to Him, "Father, I'm done. If you want me to go, you're going to have to provide everything."
During our layover between our DC flight and our Kansas City flight, one of my team members explained that they wanted to assist me financially with my calling and that I need not worry about money. That was a fast answer, God.
But, I still hadn't told my parents. What would they think?
The day after I got home, I went to Ruby Tuesdays with my mother. Gently, I began to break the news to her.
My parents are the kind of parents who believe wholeheartedly in education. You do not get to do anything until you finished college. And it was NEVER an option on whether or not my sister or I would go to college. But, to my surprise, my mother began to cry at our table. Through her tears she explained how proud she was of my bravery and my obedience and that she would support me.
A few days later, I did the same thing with my dad. We went to Five Guys and I began to explain to him what I wanted to do instead of college. He explained to me that he would support whatever dream I had.
So, once I picked up the phone, God did the rest of the work.
Now, I'm 17 days away from leaving home for the next year and a half. I'm starting this blog because I want you all to be able to experience the Lord like I will experience the Lord. I want you to come on this journey with me. I want to add you to this call so you can listen to what God is saying too. :)
All I have left to say is: Let the adventure begin.